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[Off-Topic] KARMA LAUGH-OFF

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#11
Posted on 11/6/13 5:40:50 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Nasreddin Hodja suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night.
-"Old woman, get up, quick! I can't find my glasses, where are they?" he asks her.
Fuzzy with sleep, she asks:
-"Hodja, what goodareyour glasses in the dark?"
Putting on his glasses frantically, he replies:
-"What do you mean?  Iwas having a wonderful dreamand yetI couldn't make out someparts so I put on my spectacles!"

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#12
Posted on 11/6/13 5:41:49 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, Nasreddin Hodja walks over to Akşehir Lake with copper bucket in his hands and starts pouring spoonfuls of yoghurt into the lake. Seeing Hodja near the lake with a copper bucket full of yoghurt, the curious villgaers ask:
-"What's up, Hodja? What on earth you up to?"
-"I'm turning the lake into yoghurt" replies Hodja.
-"Reverend Hodja, could a lake ever be fermented?" the villagers retort.
-"I do know it wouldn't, but what if it does?" is the reply from Hodja

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#13
Posted on 11/6/13 5:43:05 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Some kids are playing by the stream. Seeing Nasreddin Hodja, they plan to pull a prank. They entagle their legs and consult him:
-"Hodja, our legs are entagled; we can't find them!"
Hodja look about, gets a stick and starts tapping them gently on the feet. Suddenly, the kids pull their feet away.
Hodja quips:
-"See, how you've found them all of a sudden"

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#14
Posted on 11/6/13 5:44:27 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Nasreddin Hodja takes hid donkey to the bazaar for sale. However, his donkey has a temper, kicking the ones checking its tail and biting the ones checking its teeth. The crier says:
-"Hodja, take your donkey back; nobody will buy such a cranky donkey."
Hodja answers with a victorius smile:
-"Well, anyway, I brought it here not to sell it but to let people know how I suffer"

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#15
Posted on 11/6/13 5:45:29 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

If you were a dog and cats could read, cats' wouldn't be happy because, this dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, a dog, cat dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! While you ate all his food ... Now read without the word dog. (My sons' favorite one. He loves both our cat and dog very much.)

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#16
Posted on 11/6/13 5:45:40 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Doling out justice in Akşehir, Nasreddin Hodja hears the case of two men. One is a cook, long known for his notorious parsimony, and the other a dejected poor man. First, the cook gets the floor:
-"You Honor, I'd like to sue this man. I was cooking beans in front of my shop. The  saucepan was steaming through the lid. This man sidled up to it clutching a loaf. He started holding the morsels of bread over the steam and shoving them down his throat. Soon he was through with the whole loaf. I demanded the price for the steam of beans, but he didn't pay.
Having listened to the account carefully, Hodja turns to the poor man:
-"Is that true?"
-"Yes" says the poor man.
-"Hand me the purse, then" says Hodja.
The dejected pauper cannot object to a Judge. He hands the purse with a few coins to Hodja. Then, Hodja beckons the cook over. He holds the purse close to the cook's ears and starts jangling it. Then he says:
-"Come on now, you got your money"
In a shock, the cook protests:
-"Oh come npw, what do you mean?"
Hodja retorts:
-"I've had enough! One who sells the steam of a meal gets only the sound of money!"

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#17
Posted on 11/6/13 5:46:40 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, Nasreddin Hodja and his friends make a be. If Hodja can stay outside in the village square on a cold, dark night his friends wil treat him to a feast. If Hodja fails, then the will be the one to prepare the feast. Hodja waits trembling in the middle of the square till the morning on the decided day. Then he tells his friends who come near him:
-"It's over. I've won."
-"But how? What did you do?"
-"I waited till morning."
Cunning as ever, his friends say:
-"No way. You were kept warm by the light of a distant candle. You lost the bet, now prepare our feast."
Hodja has no choice but to agree. When it is time for the feast he places a tiny candle under a huge cauldron. Upon seeing this, his guests protest:
-"Oh, heck! What are you doing, Hodja?"
Hodja chuckles and says:
-"I'm going to cook you meal over this candlelight, my dear friends. This meal will be cooked by the heat just lise I was kept warm by it."

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#18
Posted on 11/6/13 5:47:42 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Walking down the street, Nasreddin Hodja is stopped by a man one day. He asks Hodja:
-"Hodja, what whould you do if you met a bear now?"
Picking up two stones, Hodja says:
-"I'd defend myself with these."
-"Suppose you didn't have the stones, what then?" the man asks.
-"I'd run away" says Hodja.
-"The bear would run faster and catch you, then what?" says the man.
-"I'd climb a tree." says Hodja.
-"So whould the bear, then what?" asks the man.
Having had enough of this, Hodja loses his cool:
-"Damn you, traitor! Whose side are you on?

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#19
Posted on 11/6/13 5:48:47 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, Nasreddin Hodja borrows a cauldron from his neighbour. When returning it, he thanks the neighbour and puts a small cauldron in it. The neighbour wonders what the smaller cauldron is about. Hodja tells the neightbour that his big cauldron gave bitrth to a smaller one, so the neighbour is glad. After a long while, Hodja asks his neighbour to lend his couldron again. The neighbour willingly agress to give it. However, this time there is no word of either Hodja or the cauldron even after a long time. Finally, the neighbour decides to broach the subjest one day.
-"Hodja, what's happened to my cauldron?"
-"My dear neighbout, it's been ages since then and your cauldron has died. I was wondering how to break the bad news." Hodja says sadly.
Furious at this, the neighbour asks:
-"What on earth are you saying? Would a cauldron die? It's not alive; how could it die?"
Hodja quips:
-"You believed that it gave birth, so why can't you accept that it is dead?"

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#20
Posted on 11/6/13 5:50:15 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

A friend of his asks Nasreddin Hodja:
-"How long is this world?"
Hust then, they see a funeral procession. Pointing at the coffin, Hodja answers:
-"Ask him! See, he's done measuring it up and he's leaving it."

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