Texas HoldEm Poker Deluxe (Royal Hold'em Museum) Today: 0    Total Posts: 7214

Moderator: FirstLady

Total:#285

Create Thread

[Off-Topic] KARMA LAUGH-OFF

Hot Topics Sticky  Close [Copy link] 284/1016

#251
Posted on 11/30/13 11:56:10 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

Edited by FirstLady2013 at 12-1-2013 12:32 PM

11-30-13

#188 - 1st Poster  - (84303728) - 2 Reputation Points
#189 - 2nd Poster - [backcolor=rgb(229, 237, 242)](94084056) - 2 Reputation Points
#190 - 3rd Poster - [backcolor=rgb(229, 237, 242)]Frosty460 - 2 Reputation Points
#191 - 4th Poster - Lordy Lord - 2 Reputation Points
#189 -  Best Joke - [backcolor=rgb(229, 237, 242)](94084056) -  2 Karma + 4 Reputation Points ( Consumer Selection )
#189 -  Best Joke - [backcolor=rgb(229, 237, 242)](94084056)  -  2 Karma + 4 Repuation Points  ( IGG Selection )
* 181 - Joke of the week - alexcohol  - 10 Karma + Troll Badge *

Signature

Follow IGG @Facebook.com/IGG    Follow CC @Facebook.com/CastleClash
#252
Posted on 12/1/13 12:13:48 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?

Signature
#253
Posted on 12/1/13 2:51:56 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common?
A: They can both drive you crazy.

Signature
#254
Posted on 12/1/13 5:13:30 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

Reminds me of someone... cheeky... lmao

Our drunk friend was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, lad. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yea lad, I'm sure," said the cop. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the bloke said, "Than goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Signature
#255
Posted on 12/1/13 5:20:08 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking

Signature
#256
Posted on 12/1/13 11:14:04 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

Edited by FirstLady2013 at 12-2-2013 12:20 AM

12-01-13

#193 - 1st Poster - Lordy Lord - 2 Reputation Points
#194 - 2nd Poster - DarkMistry - 2 Reputation Points
#195 - 3rd Poster - Frosty460 - 2 Reputation Points
#194 - Best Joke - DarkMistry - 2 Karma +4 Reputation Points ( IGG Selection / Consumer Selection )
#195 - Best Joke - Frosty460 - 2 Karma +4 Reputation Points ( IGG Selection / Consumer Selection )

* Note:  There is only 1) Consumer Selection & 1) IGG Selection, in this case there was a tie for consumer selection so both particpants will receive the same award, in the event of a 3-way or more tie 2 applicants will be selected at IGG's Discretion*

Signature

Follow IGG @Facebook.com/IGG    Follow CC @Facebook.com/CastleClash
#257
Posted on 12/2/13 5:14:12 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

Signature
#258
Posted on 12/2/13 6:16:24 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.

Signature
#259
Posted on 12/2/13 4:57:33 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.'

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... we need you to kill her' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.'

Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks' he said. 'I had to strangle her to death'.

Signature
#260
Posted on 12/2/13 11:25:50 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

Edited by FirstLady2013 at 12-8-2013 12:25 PM

12-02-13

#197 - 1st Poster  - Lordy Lord - 2 Reputation Points
#198 - 2nd Poster - Frosty460 - 2 Reputation Points
#199 - 3rd Poster - alexcohol - 2 Reputation Points
#198 - Best Joke - Frosty460 - 2 Karma + 4 Reputation ( IGG Selection )
no consumer's choice awarded as no consumer points were givien

Signature

Follow IGG @Facebook.com/IGG    Follow CC @Facebook.com/CastleClash