Texas HoldEm Poker Deluxe (Royal Hold'em Museum) Today: 0    Total Posts: 7213

Moderator: FirstLady

Total:#285

Create Thread

[Off-Topic] KARMA LAUGH-OFF

Hot Topics Sticky  Close [Copy link] 284/543

#271
Posted on 12/4/13 2:07:37 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told her father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.

"So what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.

"I am a biblical scholar," he replied.

"A Biblical scholar. Hmmm," the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.

The conversation proceeded like this, and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.

Later, the mother asked, "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answered, "He has no job and no plans, and he thinks I'm God!"

Signature
#272
Posted on 12/4/13 9:47:21 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

What does a woman and a bar have in common Liguor(lick her )in the front Poker (poke her) in the back

Signature
#273
Posted on 12/4/13 11:19:56 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

Edited by FirstLady2013 at 12-5-2013 04:45 AM

11-04-13

#205 - 1st Poster  - Lordy Lord - 2 Reputation Points
#206 - 2nd Poster - jason cook(19096311) - 2 Reputation Points
#207 - 3rd Poster -  jason cook(19096311) - 2 Reputation Points
#208 - 3rd Poster -  jason cook(19096311) - 2 Reputation Points
#209 - 3rd Poster -  jason cook(19096311) - 2 Reputation Points
#205 -  Best Joke - Lordy Lord  -  2 Karma + 4 Repuation Points ( IGG Selection )
no consumer's choice awarded as no consumer points were givien

Signature

Follow IGG @Facebook.com/IGG    Follow CC @Facebook.com/CastleClash
#274
Posted on 12/5/13 6:16:57 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Signature
#275
Posted on 12/5/13 11:09:46 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

11-05-13

#214 - 1st Poster - Lordy Lord - 2 Reputation Points
#214 - Best Joke - Lordy Lord - 2 Karma + 4 Reputation Points  ( IGG Selection )
no consumer's choice awarded as no consumer points were givien

Signature

Follow IGG @Facebook.com/IGG    Follow CC @Facebook.com/CastleClash
#276
Posted on 12/6/13 6:47:46 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

sale the table poker $ 99 please call 007  barakc obama.us

Signature
#277
Posted on 12/6/13 11:43:16 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

“And this over here” croaked the 90 year old museum tour guide, “is a fossil 4 million and 69 years old, on it’s left you can see another fossil that’s 2 million and 69 years old.”
“Wow! That’s really fascinating,” said a fellow in the audience, “how can you age it so accurately to the year?”
“Well that’s simple” answered the old chap, “It was two million years old when I started working here 69 years ago.”


Signature
#278
Posted on 12/7/13 3:05:47 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Edited by FirstLady2013 at 12-7-2013 04:18 AM

11-06-13

#216 - 1st Poster - Raflessia(113111490) - 2 Reputation Points
#217 - 2nd Poster - Frosty460 - 2 Reputation Points
#217 - Best Joke - Frosty460 - 2 Karma + 4 Reputation Points  ( Consumer Selection )
#217 - Best Joke - Frosty460 - 2 Karma + 4 Reputation Points ( IGG Selection )

Signature

Follow IGG @Facebook.com/IGG    Follow CC @Facebook.com/CastleClash
#279
Posted on 12/7/13 11:34:51 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

There were three burglers. One night, they decided to make a heist at the bank. So that evening, they put on their black shirts, black pants, black shoes, ski masks, etc. They quietly snuck to the bank, and broke in. Too bad the alarm went off. So, they ran. They came to a garbage dump, and went off to find hiding places. All three of them crept into bags, and waited. The police finaly came to the garbage dump, and split up to look for them. One officer came upon a burgler  " Hey, Joe! cried the officer, " I think I found one of ' em! So he kicked the bag to make sure. The burgler, thinking fast, whispered " meow ". " Oh, never mind. It's just a cat. Keep lookin'! So, they kept looking. Another officer came to the second burgler in a bag. Thinking fast, the burgler went " Ffft!
So, thinking it was a cat, the officer went away. Now, the third burgler was a tad stupid. When the officers came to him, an officer kicked the bag. The burgler whispered, " Pootaatoooos...

Signature
#280
Posted on 12/7/13 1:25:24 PM | Show thread starter's posts only

:):( 5000mil

Signature