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[Off-Topic] KARMA LAUGH-OFF

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#21
Posted on 11/6/13 5:51:22 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, Nasreddin Hodja is heading home. A friend calls out to him from behind.
-"Did you see that, Hodja? The halva cauldron that went past a while ago was full to the brim."
Maintaining his composure, Hodja responds:
-"Well, what's that to me?"
-"But the halva cauldron was going to your house; how about that?" asks Hodja's friend.
Still keeping up appearances, Hodja answers:
-"Well, then what's that to you?"

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#22
Posted on 11/6/13 5:52:25 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

A scholar is walking through the length and breadth of the world in search of the most intelligent man on earth. Now is the turn for Nasreddin Hodja's village and he asks the villagers:
-"Who is the most intelligent man in your village?"
The villagers name Nasreddin Hodja and the scholar meets him in the village square. He picks up a stick and draws a circlein the ground. Hodja divides the circle with the stick. The scholar draws one more line, dividing the circle into four parts. Hodja draws crosses on three parts of the circle. The scholar makes an upward gesture with his hands and Hodja makes a downward gesture. In awe, the scholar congratulates Hodja. Unable to make head nor tail of it, the villagers ask the scholar what is going on.
-"Whis man is indeed the most intelligent man on earth. I drew the picture of earth in the ground and he pointed out the equator with his stick. I divided the earth into four and he meant that three quarters were water. I asked what whould result from ground evaporation and he said it would rain.
Then the folks ask Hodja what is was all about and he responds:
-"This man is a glutton. He draw a tray of dessert and I indicated that the half was mine. He divided the tray into four and I then said three quarters of it was mine. When he gestured meaning that the fire below the tray should die down I said we'd rather put nuts and pistachios on it."

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#23
Posted on 11/6/13 5:53:34 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Hard-pressed to make a living, Nasreddin Hodja starts making and selling feather fans. Upon seeing the feathers scatter immediately after use, customers complain:
-"That's an excuse for a fan! The feathers started coming off as soon as we waved it."
Hodja responds:
-"You need to know hot to use it. It'll be alright if you keep it fixed and shake your head from side to side."

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#24
Posted on 11/6/13 5:53:59 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

question.... whats the definition of bean on toast..            answer..... skin heads on a raft                                                                        

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#25
Posted on 11/6/13 5:54:27 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Nasreddin Hodja approaches a crowd gathered around a man in the Akşehir bazaar. The man is a street vendor trying to sell a particular bird. To his surprise, Hodja learns that the bird costs 50 silver coins while the nearby hens cost 5 silver coins each. Racking his brain over the discrepancy between prices, Hodja asks:
-"Mate, what sort of abird is yours that you domand 50 silver coins for it?"
-"Reverend Hodja, this is not just any bird. It has a special talent." replis the vendor.
-"What talent?" says Hodja.
-"They call it a "parrort" and it talks", says the vendor.
Hodja rushes home, dashing back to the bazaar with his turkey snatched from the coop. He stands near the man selling parrots and calls out in a loud voice:
-"This bird you see here is for 100 silver coins, only, here, here!"
The man selling more parrots than anyone else is astonished at this and asks:
-"Hodja, isn't 100 silver coins to much for a Turkey?"
-"But your charge 50 for your parrot" says Hodja.
The vendor replies:
-"As I've already said, my bird talks"
-"Well then, mine thinks" quips Hodja.

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#26
Posted on 11/6/13 5:55:12 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, Nasreddin Hodja is talking to a friend and a man approaches to ask curiously about the strange noise that came from Hodja's house yesterday.
-"A big noise came from your house yesterday. For heaven's sake, what was that?"
-"Well, nothing. I had a bit of an argument with my wife and the cap rolled down the stairs." says Hodja.
-"Hodja, would a cap make such a big noise?"
-"Why don't you get it? I was undermeath!"

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#27
Posted on 11/6/13 5:56:00 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day Nasreddin Hodja mounts his donkey facing backwards. People who see this say:
-"Hodja, you're mounting your donkey the wrong way"
Hodja responds:
-"No, I'm not mounting it the wrong way; the donkey is facing the wrong direction"

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#28
Posted on 11/6/13 5:56:45 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

"How weird this world is" Somebody says to Nasreddin Hodja.
Tugging at his white beard, Hodja asks:
-"What's so weird about it?"
When he gets the reply "Come morning people go in all directions. Some this way, and some that way, I wonder why?" Hodja quips:
-"But of course, if they all went in the same direction, the earth would lose its balance; that is why!"

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#29
Posted on 11/6/13 5:57:25 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, they ask Nasreddin Hodja:
-"It's said that honey and vinegar do not harmonize. What whould you say to that?"
-How come they don't" says Hodja and eats half a kilo of honey washed down with half a kilo vinegar. Seeing his face turn green as grass, the on-lookers ask:
-"Well, they did not harmonize, did they?"
Hodja replies, unabashed as ever:
-"On the contrary, they harmonized perfectly well; now they are trying to get me out of the way."

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#30
Posted on 11/6/13 5:58:28 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, they ask Nasreddin Hodja:
-"What's the way to become a decent man?"
Hodja replies pensively, shaking his head from side to side:
-"Listen when spoken to and speak when listened to."

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