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Posted on 11/6/13 6:34:01 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

what do you call a mushroom with 6 inch dick

a fungi to be with

Posted on 11/6/13 7:31:27 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

One day, Hodja was washing cat near a road. One of his friends who was passing by told him:
-Hodja, don’t wash the cat. Otherwise, it dies.
Hodja didn’t care him and went on washing. On his way back, the man saw Hodja with the dead cat. The man told him:
-Haven’t I told you. If you wash the cat, it dies.
Hodja replied immediately:
-It didn’t die when I was washing. It died while I was wringing.

Posted on 11/6/13 7:33:17 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

When I was young I didn’t like going to weddings.

My grandmother would tell me, “You’re next”

However, she stopped saying it after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Posted on 11/6/13 7:37:24 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Posted on 11/6/13 7:38:12 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic lecturer.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the lecturer with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

Posted on 11/6/13 7:40:34 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

Posted on 11/6/13 7:42:53 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

A man asked his wife: "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said: "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off
they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide,
The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head spinning and
her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given
a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake.
Then off to a theatre to see Star Wars-more hot dogs, popcorn, cola and sweets.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, I meant dress size."

Posted on 11/6/13 7:44:23 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Nancy was having coffee with Helen.
Nancy asked: "How do you know your husband loves you?"
"He takes out the garbage every morning".
"That's not love. That's good housekeeping.
"My husband gives me all the spending money I need."
"That's not love. That's generosity."
"My husband never looks at other women."
"That's not love. That's poor vision."
"John always opens the door for me."
"That's not love. That's good manners."
"John kisses me even when I've eaten garlic and I have curlers in my hair."
"Now, that's love."

Posted on 11/6/13 7:50:50 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

Two guys are chatting in a bar.
One says "Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15
times a night?"
"Damn," Says his friend. "I just joined the Rotary."

Posted on 11/6/13 7:53:28 AM | Show thread starter's posts only

A Lesson About Blood Circulation

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” the boys said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”